There was a young girl of Darjeeling
Who could dance with such exquisite feeling
There was never a sound
For miles around
Save of fly-buttons hitting the ceiling.

Said a lecherous fellow named Shea,
When his prick wouldn't rise for a lay,
"You must seize it, and squeeze it,
And tease it, and please it,
For Rome wasn't built in a day."

There was a young fellow of Mayence
Who fucked his own arse, in defiance
Not only of custom
And morals, dad-bust him,
But most of the known laws of science.

There was a young fellow of Ealing,
Devoid of all delicate feeling.
When he read on the door:
`Don't shit on the floor'
He jumped up and shat on the ceiling.

There was a young fellow named Veach
Who fell fast asleep on the beach.
His dreams of nude women
Had his proud organ brimming
And squirting on all within reach.

A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

To his bride a young bridegroom said, "Pish!
Your cunt is as big as a dish!"
She replied, "Why you fool,
With your limp little tool
It's like driving a nail with a fish!"

There was a young Jewess named Hannah
Who sucked off her lover's banana.
She swore that the cream
That shot out in a stream
Tasted better than Biblical manna.

A worried young man from Stamboul
Discovered red spots on his tool.
Said the doctor, a cynic,
`Get out of my clinic!
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool.'

There was a young girl of Bombay
Who was put in the family way
By the mate of a lugger,
An ignorant bugger
Who always spelled CUNT with a K.

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think --
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

The nipples of Sarah Sarong,
When excited, are twelve inches long.
This embarrassed her lover
Who was pained to discover
She expected no less of his dong.