• You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Moines" and "Illinois"
• You know what "Hawks" and "Clones" are
• You can locate Iowa on the United States map
• All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable
• You're think people are idiots who say: "You grow great potatoes there."
• You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor
• You drink "pop", do the "warsh", fish in the "crick" and shingle the "ruff"
• You know several people who have hit a deer
• You measure distance in minutes
• Detassling was your first job
• You know what detassling means
• Down south to you means south of I-80; in southern Iowa, it means Missouri
• You know where I-80, I-380 and I-280 are
• Your school classes were cancelled because of cold
• Your school classes were cancelled because of heat
• You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
• You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
• Stores don't have bags, they have sacks
• You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
• You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
• You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Examples:"Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall, I wanna go with."
• Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by mustard and pickles
• You know what a Maid-Rite is and know they cannot be served with ketchup
• You say "cattywampus" instead of "kitty-corner"
• You learn your pickup will run without a muffler
• You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked
• You think of the major four food groups as beef, casseroles, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows
• You like leftovers; in fact, think they're better the second time
• When you decline seconds at the dinner table, you're mother says "Oh but it's good"
• You learned to drive when you were 10
• You look forward to family reunions
• People from other states love to hear you pronounce "Iowa" and other words with "Os" in them.
• You know what "cow tipping" is
• You carry jumper cables in your car